MY PRECIOUS(ES)

    I send in onnne little image to one of my favorite Dodger blogs Vin Scully is my homeboy and all of a suuudden I'm accused of trolling forums and posting on message boards. I've never even thought of what user name I would have (EtchohuaquilaPark78) or nothing.  But I am always thinking up dumb retorts and smack to talk (back) that are best expressed through my photoshop skills. Usually they stay in my brain, this one actually made it to out.  It was well received.... bad news. That is all the encourgement I need to continue on my 2011 campaign to further pollute the interwebs with horrible hackneyed animated gifs & "shops."  Some folks (three) found it offensive, having anticipated this con-TRA-ver-sy I made a radio friendly edit.

   I still think the original version is more impactful and in the tradition of parking lot bootlegs I'm accustomed to.  I'm from the school of Calvin Hobbs pissing, little English hooligan kid flippin the bird and overall placing  a prefix/suffix of the suck or f*ck variety next to whatever team we're up against. It's comforting to me.  But I understand.  Like I wouldn't send my Dad the first one, but maybe the second one.

OR

This is just a reminder.  Giants fans have always been stank, and that was before they even won ANYTHING.  So you can only imagine now.  FOH with your banner flying over our stadium.

Get hummmm-ble baby.

Let's revisit some of my old work.... (this should be animated)

And the crowd favorite and hilarious Apocalypto Chente...

I need to get cracking on my .psd catalog.

Opening day!!!

 So excited.  

BABY ON BOARD

     KNOW NOW that if we play Words with Friends you're in for some deep shiiiit.  And I'm not boasting about the level of my gameplay but actual deep-lifes important decisions- type shit.    So don't engage unless you're ready for some in-game sideline WORDS with your friend Mitsy.  I didn't capture the rest of this chat, but it concluded with some cruise control reassuring from my friend.  "You'll adapt (really?)/ "you'd be a good Mom" ( I guess I do have birds?)   She doesn't know these are just my general concerns about child REARING, it'll take me a few rematches to voice my fears about "some dude jacking me and his sperm growing in my stomach" as Lizard Lemon put it. 

Note: I have no WORDS etiquette according to one A. Merriweather so be warned. I'll lock up the board with nonsense, blitz, sidebust, cock block and roll- all that, believe it.  Turn off your notifications cause I be on some late night word formulation.

Step to, step to....

Username: Murky_Dismal

KORN DOGZ

      Made these corn dog cake pops for my best friend's (girl- childhood to ∞  category) birthday.  She loves corn dogs and is a corn dog.  These are "inside peanut butter outside jellllly" no they're not.  I just wanted to quote  Cadillac Don. They're actually chocolate innards, peanut butter shell with vanilla yellow candy melt "squiggle". 

I also made her some sugah Wu-kies from my own cookie cutter.

ANNNND the other day was my friend Nancy ah- ah- Ahn's birthday.

  Made these along with Melanie, my best friend (girl, high school- ∞ category) when she came to visit for CraftCamp spring 2011.  Hope you enjoyed the musical component of this post. :)

G-LERT

  Is it horrible that I have a google alert set for my name?  Probably.  So keep my name out your content or DON'T because the alert usually turns up a whole lot of nothing.  But today I received a couple for this video.   Here's the link to check out the accompanying write up.

Google recently wrangled up these links too...

Ok bye.

STILL SHUNNING

       Anytime someone sends word of POSITIVE response, request or mention of my work...I NEVER buy it.  It's not even put-on humility just an innate refusal to swallow any and all favorable reception.  I chalk it up to being brown. That is to say Mexican.  NOOW, if you call me up and tell me Lencha said something stank- like my paintings are so goth right now- instinctively, no matter the sources' credibility or how far removed from first hand witness they may be...I'll believe that shit.  DONE.  Lencha is dead in my eyes, keep it moving.
    
      It's a HORRIBLE way to live. You just can't shake that type of cultural conditioning.  It's the same hardwiring responsible for thinking there is anything legitimately precautionary about reaching across the passengers chest upon stopping short at a red light.  The same irresponsibility that allows me to believe I can prevent bells palsy by not eating dinner in front of an oscillating fan. You can't counteract a cramp by taking your saliva soaked finger and imprinting a cross on the sole of your foot (yeah- it worked because you just stretched it out trying to get to the bottom of your foot, you don't see that Mom? ) Furthermore, I'll just say it now, the sign of the cross is the nucleus of my OCD.  It's my go to move for an infinite number of ordinary events throughout the day.  Like, I'm not only doing it when I pass a church but when I see/hear an ambulance/firetruck, if I'm on the tail end of a red light, at the start of the defensive inning/possession and in attempts to alter the results of a televised rigged singing/dancing competition(s).  It's crazy witchery that science has yet to disprove so gueessss whhaaat future Mitsy's babies, dems your whack beliefs too.  

  

Oh yeah...so I was alert texted of my cameo in a short documentary about the probably thee best producer of all time, you know I thought I was being put on.  Several interrogating texts later my interest was piqued enough to google search. Then, sure enough 7 minutes into the short MY commerative Dilla  flashes before you. Couple seconds later, art work by "MISTY" Avila Ovalles confirms...you aint all that.   And that's why browns always wait for the shoe to drop.

         HERE!! Because unless you're a fan of J Dilla (which should pretty much be all of you directly or indirectly) you WON'T sit through this.  Eventhoouuggh you sit through hella paternity test results and subsequent sprints backstage at 10am and 1pm pacific ery day.

SICCCKKK.  Even if I did get played with the misspelling.

      

    See mine has a donut on his necklace.  I'm actually not clear on why they chose to cut from the original picture I drew from  to my rendition.  Let's pretend it's for legal reasons.  Like he just wanted to throw mine up but had to credit the original flick. :) Thinking allll baad. It's ok, it's just feigned confidence.

Yeah, he was pretty awesome

BITTERSWEET

     I don't want to jinx it but it's only valentine's day and I've already doubled the number of shows I had in allllll of 2010. Hooow saad. :) I crashed the "Bittersweet" show over at Cukui with my very romantic "When a Macho Man loves a Woman" piece. If you think about it, it's very fitting that they would be in a bittersweet context seeing as they had a tumultuous relationship prior to Miss Elizabeth hitting the pipe alongside Lex Luger. I've also become a Randy "Macho Man" Savage expert by now. Not like to the level where I can rap along to his album but still.  Did you know he was a baseball player? He never made it to the bigs but was in the Reds, Cards and Whitesox farm systems.

Here's the piece.  Through the process.  These were taken with my touch.  I'll snap a better one when I get it back.  That battery down there is a AA.  For scale to show what a diiick that championship belt was and my tinsie three eyelash brush used to paint it.  The shorts and fringe on the piece are embroidered.

 

I don't know these people but they get it. :)

photo credit: Stolen from the internets, Ben Wild's faceplace.

    Awww! I want a video montage of my relationship set to the smooth jazz of Peabo Bryson & Roberta Flack.  I swear to God right now, this will be my first dance song.

 

      I want Randall Mario Poffo to feed me wedding cake! I want Bobby Heenan to attend my wedding reception and look on disapprovingly.  I could only hope to look as beautiful on my big day in opulent puffy sleeves and lace as Miss Elizabeth did. I am not however registered for snakes.
   

"Candlesticks! Unbelievable!" hahaha



Also, my friend Alex caught these pics from the ChicaChic show on art business<--click for more

the real housewives of the arts

     This show opens up today.  CHICk it out.  That was horrible, I apologize.  Special thanks to Raquel De Anda- if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have any shows at all. :)  Can I just say, I never learn.  Bad move leaving to Mexico for 2 1/2 weeks the month before the show.  Bad move having a bubble girl immune system and being sick for all the days of 2011.  BUT I got things done despite being on the cold & cough merry-go-round.  It's slowed down some but has not come to a complete stop.

     

      Coinciding with this show was a series of poster ADS located on the platforms of BART stations everywhere.  My poster is of one of my digital drawings per request of Raquel.  We didn't end up printing this up or the other two I worked on for the actual show.  I'm thinking maybe I'll put them up on zazzle or on here.  

This is the one on the poster....

and here it is, on location. Or at one location...

And here's some sneakiness from the stairwell at CIIS.

SANTA BABY

     On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me TWELVE East Side Story L Peeeeeees.  The photographs on these are so rad and the albums have the original tracks! Copyright laws are for the birds. DO NOT give me permission (have them shipped) to open gifts before Christmas because I can't NOT open them.

    

     I also received  the May 18, 1981 issue of Sports Illustrated with "Rookie Sensation" cover boy Fernando Valenzuela.  I have this weird Larry David "bathroom contamination" fear about magazines.  Luckily it came in a plastic sleeve- it's in really good condition for a nearly 30 year old mag. 

 

      That's it.  I'm accosting Fernando next time LA  is in town.  I will hug him,  stare directly into his upward gaze (yes I will request he simulate  his signature wind up) get his autograph and add it to my Wall O' Spiritual leaders/mentors/inspiring people.  Currently only my prized "Dee"  from What's Happening autograph (with personalized "To Mitsy 'ooooo, I'm telling Mama!' message) hangs there.   I wish I knew where my Mobb Deep autograph was.

      Annnnddd this is my Dad side to side with his subjective double Chico Che. There was a time when he was a little rounder,  crowned with more pepper than salt, wore aviator shades and thinned out the stache a little but never fully committed to the look as to don the overalls.

ZAZZLEAN

     Because I wasn't gonna have merch any other way, I'd like to thank people over at zazzle's ARTSPROJEKT for the invite to do this.  I'm draggin' on the making of actual products but I finally have SOMETHING up.  I get like 3 cents for every item I sell, so buy plenty and often.  That way I can use my entire royalty check on buying my own items. :)  If peddling my own images  don't get me paid you know I have some ideas for ironic tshirts in my back pocket.  But meanwhile here's what I got so far....

     Let me know if there is a certain product you'd like to see my junk on.  I want to steal your ideas. :) For instance if you'd like your face in place of one of my lady wrestlers or your dog inserted into one of my landscape paintings I can make that happen. 

REMIIIIIIX

      This will be my last baseball post UNLESS something miraculous happens like the McCourt divorce brings about new Dodgers owners that'll rape the free agency market. Cliff Lee or Carl Crawford, I want you. Besides hoopies start back up today.  I got basketball in my life now, lose it baseball. Go Rangers!

     And FERNANDO NATION , the Fernando Valenzuela 30 for 30 airs tonight!!!  Like, right now...so excited!  My brother had that poster.  He STILL has it up. :)