CHEAP GIFTS

It's Monalisa Peaches 23rd birthday today
and all she asked me for was this crumby drawing. Boooo.

Little Mona once ran away "with the angels," by ran away I mean went as far as underneath the back seat of the Garcia party/church van parked in her drive way- for like, 3 hours. What would prompt this you ask? Well, if I remember correctly (which I make it a point to, precisely for cheap shots like this) she wanted a #2 with orange drink from McDonalds and no one would comply. That is my favorite Mona anecdote and I'll be sure to toast to it on her wedding day. If you know the dame, holler at her with some celebratory well wishes. Sorry for making your dirty pillows look so huge Mona.

Speaking of McDonalds... what's with Ben Seaver's cameo in their recent commercial? Is it referencing Vh1's Best Week Ever, Fabulous life of or whatever? I don't get it. Can someone please write in with a long winded and obtuse explanation? Thanks.

CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP DANCE

Dear internet,
c/o myspace
I wish I knew how to quit you.
♥
Mitsy

AD-VERSE-MENT

     Here is something I sketched up for my homegirls line of earrings, LOBE RIDERS.  
Pick some up.   

RISA EN VACACIONES 2

     Here are pictures from my recent hiatus spent making my way from San Jose to Mexicali to Tucson to Magdalena de Kino, back to Tucson to Hermosillo to Guaymas to San Carlos and circle back. My first night in Mexicali was spent at the "Fiestas del Sol" where el mismisimo Ramon Ayala, el rey del acordeon y sus bravos del norte were on hand for the cessation of the festival. We got no where near the stage but still swayed with the tempo and downbeat of the norteno polka. The next day I found out that Mexican league baseball is where the party's REALLY at. Winter ball coalesces everything I love in life. The typical rally song arena anthems of "Who let the dogs out" & "We Will Rock You" (or just about anything found on a NOW that's what I call music 23) are substituted with cumbias sabrosonas and the Juan Gabriel songbook. They have midget bat boys, fried ox tails are the new hot dog and a descendant of baseball royalty, Fernando Valenzuela junior plays first base. I was also surprised to learn that the single thing I find most amusing in the world are effeminate simian mascots that wear thongs on their head and simulate sexy time with batters on the opposing team. Normally, the Mexicali aguilas mascot is a man's man Eagle named Lucho, but the game we went to was a double header, so we got the b team, meaning "EL MONKEY" (aka the antithesis of Lucho) was the fill in. Imagine the announcer calling out "Que estas haciendo Mon-key? El mon-key quieres bailar?" it was awesome.

Not to brag or anything but I'm a Godmother now, to the asian looking twins pictured, my nephews, Alex & Alexis. Soooo now that I've made the earnest commitment (attended two pre-baptism classes) I plan to fully take advantage of my certification. The paperwork is only good for two years so if you want me to baptize your babies get your requests in now. I'm your man. :) I have other stories, like how after two hours trying to traverse into the US and A, the immigration officer asked what happened to my hair... and an exhaust fume dizzied half asleep me, replied with "You mean why is it the color of cotton candy?" Or how I paid a dollar to see some rank ill smelling animals with 5 legs and other deformities along with the headliners the optical illusion "Angelluz," the smoke and mirrors Siamese twins. Boooo! I'm pretty sure they're violating child labor laws and mistreating animals but what do I know. Or how stars in the middle of the desert look crazy. Or my culinary research of how quesadillas begot sinchronizadas, sinchronizadas begot caramelos, caramelos begot lorenas. But i'll bore you with those later.

My camera's battery latch broke somewhere between Nogales and Sonoyita, so after a while the riggin wasn't getting it done and I gave up taking pictures. Here's what i did shoot.

Pictured above are the remains of the Italian missionary and explorer Father Eusebio Francisco Kino, they're displayed in this crypt where they were found in 1966.

        You're supposed to lift the bigger than life Saint Francisco Javier, if he proves too heavy it means you're of little faith and/or have the chamuco in ya.

Also, billboards in northern Mexico are my favorite. They reuse panels from different signs to build them, down below is the result.

It's rough in the streets, even Spongebob gets crossed out.

ROTTEN LUCK

     It's a sad sad day. Not just because Scientology nuptials are all the rage or because neither you nor I have a PS3 (I thought if I started off with something topical, you'd be more apt to stick around for the heart of the matter) but because, THREE, THREEEE of my paintings may or may not have been lost in the mail. Not getting a tracking number will haunt me for the rest of my days as did dropping out of junior high basketball after I made the first cut. Moot shitty point. I sent my work "priority", which normally means a delivery in 3-5 days. Pan to me TWO point five weeks later, in shambles, whimpering in my closet wishing I had a sweet release like secret cutting. :) Alright, I'm being dramatic but still. It was for a good cause too, they were intercepted on route to San Francisco, for Galeria de la Raza's annual art auction, "PACHANGA!" Uggghhhhh, see it doesn't pay to be charitable. I knew it. So if you see these up in a crack den near you or going for chump change on ebay, notify me.

LUMBERJILL

 

I like lateral passes.

KINFOLK

    Yay!! The babies!! This blog is self-serving to the max. I just like seeing my family on the internet, namely my cousin Danny because he has such anxiety about being on the infobahn. He's the one on the left on the Mother's day pillow, also the genius behind the cake regards. "Mitsy, I'm a grown ass man, once you're 30, you can't be on myspace. " He tells me that, ALL the time. My time is running out. He doesn't even like email, it's always a one-way exchange where I forward him a utube clip and he immediately calls me on the phone. The twist, he works for a telecommunications provider. We all put up with him because he fathered the two little ones pictured here (my favorites) and he's somewhat hilarious. My cousin "Little" (the other half of the pillow) and I have plans of creating Danny a profile, probably under the name "NEGRA." Make sure to add him. :)

Sorry for busting out the photo album, I had to do it.

FREE ART TEST

I want to share with you some of my early work. Perhaps this will put to rest questions about what inspires and motivates me. Or it'll further confirm the idea that any hack off the street can be an "artist." To your left, is a drawing of what remains as one of my favorite establishments till this day. I'm pretty sure you recognized upon first glance, that it's the 7 Eleven located on South 11th street by the 280 overpass. I grew up on the other side of the freeway so this was a daily pit stop, this one or the one off of Keyes near Happy Hollow, Belen and I would alternate 7-11's determined by the slurpee flavors made available and/or what store had her Mom's favorite scratcher ticket. This sketch is page one of a laminated salmon colored white piece of yarn bound publication titled "Things I Love About My Mother." Being the little saucebox that I was/am the caption under this superealistic cityscape probably read "She buys me things!" I was SEVEN, quit judging. Plus there were some other entries in there about her as a person, really deep, more reflective stuff, wait for it. But hey, shaaaoooo!!... check out the perspective, the detail of the shingles and the glass door reflection, nombre... no wonder I pursed art. ;)

Other evidence of my artistic apititude can be seen here, the aforementioned title's cover, a snapshot of our then living room a.k.a "my bedroom" -you'll find out more about that later, don't get ahead of me. Alright, I'll just tell you now. I didn't want to say anything but I didn't even have my own room until I was a junior in High School, prior to that I part-timed between the bunk bed in my brother's PAULA ABDUL wallpapered room and the sofa bed on most nights to get out of harms a.k.a my brother's way whenever any of the following sport teams lost.. Raiders, Lakers, Kings or the Dodgers. My mom was a hater too, she wouldn't even let me put up pictures of heartthrobs Tommy Puett or Brian Bloom in the sala (living room). I can never do NOTHING! Anyway, back to my "early work".. I think the best part is the angle from which I drew it. If drawn from life this would have put me inside the wall, or in the my brother's bedroom, seeing as the tv was flush up against it leaving no room to discern the labyrinth of input ouput, coaxial cables, RF connections and cable descramblers. Kids are all hip to computers at 18 months or whatever, big whoop, I was fiddling with cable connections in second grade. I'm a home taught trade school drop out, you don't learn how to program the VCR to record your Mom's novela, Cuna de Lobos or that weekends Chavez fight at school-school. This is the kind of practical shit you need and use forever, it makes you invaluable. Not like the times table and learning about the earth's crust. Boo!


Here's another sketch from the same book, here I'm blatantly LYING, first of all, who am I kidding? I'm Mexican, the only language spoken at home was Spanish. My mom would have never said "Good Morning" she still shys away from using her limited English, only busting it out for emergencies (like fires, pleitos over people cutting in line, SERIOUS shit only) or if no one that she knows (including me) is around. That's why she had us kids, so that we'd translate everything for her. "Mija, dile que si no nos da nuestro deposito les voy hacer 'SUE', dile!." Furthermore breakfast in bed? Staying home from school? Hahahaha. School was our babysitter, we couldn't NOT go. And like it was at all possible that a.) We had a food tray "venganse a comer a la mesa cabrones!" b.) That my Mom would serve up what appears to be a pomegranate(?) for breakfast with some freshly picked daisies ( we had a cemented lawn) in a vase for decor. You and I both know the variety of the most important meal of the day was limited to HUEVO CON TBA (to be announced). Nice try at assimilation though, Mits (that's how I address myself, "Mits" ). I blame my castle-building on The Cosby show, Who's the Boss? and Family Ties being at their crowning point, where else would I learn about normal family behavior to try to pass off as my own. And DAMN! Couldn't old boy, Mr. Holmes (my second grade teacher- cue every kid in our class at one point greeting him with "WHAT UP HOLMES!?!") have got on his job and spelled checked, help a lil sister out, I mean.."Home SWEAT Home." That shits devastating. Its not like Mom and Pops knew the difference but you know big brother Mario wasn't gonna let it slip. "You're stupid Mitsy, home SWEAT home!" DAMNIT! Scarred for life, mira, scarred fooor liifffe! But I guess, it's not like I worded Mr. Holmes up on having his psoriasis checked out or what kid hid his crystal light during the intense heads up seven up match. Fair is fair.

Finally my biography, this is from a different book, my sophmore release, "Georgie Goes Bananas" I never got around to scanning more pages from it. This is on my website somewhere, so it might be old news for some. But take a look see, I was redundant even then. I NEVER get down with the percussion, i know thats what you're wondering, and I'm not sure what constitutes for being an "artist" anymore. So, depending on how you look at it I'm either 1 for 2, or 0 for 2 on reaching my career aspirations. I should have aimed lower. :)

But now I blow kids out the water, see for yourself in this side by side comparison. On your left a drawing of Superman by my 5 year old young nephew Victor, to your right MY drawing of Superman. I mean sure he's got the S curl going for him and word on the street is "Bad drawing its so hot right now" but his poportions are all wrong. I win.

NO MAS PORQUE SI.

Killing time til post-season commences. Think blue.

NEO RENAISSANCE

    To your Del, I move my Ultraman. He's now based in Los Angeles but was born and raised around the Bay. Truth is, I can't even battle rap you right now because I need tommygun surgery on my shoulder :) (BTW-smile emoticon is the new puctuation) Here's this picture I drew up recently of my friend Shawn to replace this old drawing he had been using for his cd covers. The old drawing won out in a 10 minute drawing contest between my friend Ben and I, it was really old and rushed so I'm glad he asked me to revamp it.