SANTA BABY

     On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me TWELVE East Side Story L Peeeeeees.  The photographs on these are so rad and the albums have the original tracks! Copyright laws are for the birds. DO NOT give me permission (have them shipped) to open gifts before Christmas because I can't NOT open them.

    

     I also received  the May 18, 1981 issue of Sports Illustrated with "Rookie Sensation" cover boy Fernando Valenzuela.  I have this weird Larry David "bathroom contamination" fear about magazines.  Luckily it came in a plastic sleeve- it's in really good condition for a nearly 30 year old mag. 

 

      That's it.  I'm accosting Fernando next time LA  is in town.  I will hug him,  stare directly into his upward gaze (yes I will request he simulate  his signature wind up) get his autograph and add it to my Wall O' Spiritual leaders/mentors/inspiring people.  Currently only my prized "Dee"  from What's Happening autograph (with personalized "To Mitsy 'ooooo, I'm telling Mama!' message) hangs there.   I wish I knew where my Mobb Deep autograph was.

      Annnnddd this is my Dad side to side with his subjective double Chico Che. There was a time when he was a little rounder,  crowned with more pepper than salt, wore aviator shades and thinned out the stache a little but never fully committed to the look as to don the overalls.

ZAZZLEAN

     Because I wasn't gonna have merch any other way, I'd like to thank people over at zazzle's ARTSPROJEKT for the invite to do this.  I'm draggin' on the making of actual products but I finally have SOMETHING up.  I get like 3 cents for every item I sell, so buy plenty and often.  That way I can use my entire royalty check on buying my own items. :)  If peddling my own images  don't get me paid you know I have some ideas for ironic tshirts in my back pocket.  But meanwhile here's what I got so far....

     Let me know if there is a certain product you'd like to see my junk on.  I want to steal your ideas. :) For instance if you'd like your face in place of one of my lady wrestlers or your dog inserted into one of my landscape paintings I can make that happen. 

REMIIIIIIX

      This will be my last baseball post UNLESS something miraculous happens like the McCourt divorce brings about new Dodgers owners that'll rape the free agency market. Cliff Lee or Carl Crawford, I want you. Besides hoopies start back up today.  I got basketball in my life now, lose it baseball. Go Rangers!

     And FERNANDO NATION , the Fernando Valenzuela 30 for 30 airs tonight!!!  Like, right now...so excited!  My brother had that poster.  He STILL has it up. :)

10/24

It's me Ma's birthday today.  She's the best.  Even the waitress at breakfast this morning said "How cute!" when my Mom stacked our dishes for her.  That's just the kind of class act Martha is. Sneaked in a lil tribute to her in a drawing that'll be printed up.

Feliz Cumpleaños Ama <3

OCTOBERPEST

   The devil finds work for idle hands to do.  Beleeb it.  ANNNNDDD since I don't have a place in the playoffs  this year,  it's time to root against and berate the crap teams in it to win it squeak through, by way of photoshop  bullying. Here goes... separated at birth playoff edition. 

 But I'm saying though.

      

      Posey weak chin and pear shaped = Stevie.  Carlos Ruiz, no neck,  gold chains and a penchant for ecstasy and stolen computer goods...easy! Hector Macho Camacho! Ruiz  doesn't have a "bad habit for drugs" (that we know of) nor did he pick up a burglary charge for stolen netbooks. (again, who knows? maybe).  That's all Hector but I just hate that guy, how he goes about his job,  all humble and quiet like, catching perfect games, getting clutch hits. Uuugghhhh.  

      Tim Lincecum's anorexic Rachel Zoe chipmunk jowls, mangled fangs and sexual ambiguity read godmother of punk, Patti Smith to me.  While Brian Wilson's brush-in-gel jet black beard, baby blues, eccentric accessorizing and entrance music "Pomp and Circumstance"  say Macho Man.  Viral Dodson should have warned Volquez to hide his change-up, hide his fastball because the Phillies rapin' everyone out here.  I always saw Matt Cain as Digger from Shirt Tales but he also makes a pretty Natalie Green. 

And is this just the same cholo or what ay?

 

Thank you.

RUBY ANNIVERSARY

      Last blog entry June 21st? How'd that happen? I'll tell you how. The Dodgers season sucked donkey, that's how. "Real talk" though, faceplace is a blog killer- I can easily share , upload, like and poke with little set up and wordage. You know I'm lazy. But I'll try to remember there are TV onlys that don't get the faceplace live feed and are not clued in to all the failbooking I do over there.

      I'll have my embroideries up in Galeria's 40th anniversary show starting this friday. It's a real honor.

     CeeLOS put me on to Summer Heights High recently. It's my best thing right now. I want to write something with an equally hilariously drawn prefix.

PAYBACK-TO-BACK

      I would like to thank all those that took time to write words of encouragement once the Lakers  had dropped games 2, 4 & 5 and thought the series was a Beantown wrap.  Hope that crow is to your liking.  Jerks. 

     Also, my brother is officially OUT from celebrating any Lakers championship parade today. Although I've asked to be unsubscribed from his mailing list he insists on his negatexts ruining my experience.  Here's how he copes with the pressure.

PAIN & GUILT:  1st quarter, not even 20 minutes into the game. 

ANGER & BARGAINING: Lower case not enough, he needed emphasis. I didn't even know he knew how to do all caps.

REFLECTION: Well, well, well...

ACCEPTANCE & HOPE:  Como si nada.

Alright now to find a link and take in some parade action. :P

CORAZÓN NOBLE

Amor de Padre, que todo lo demás es aire. 

        My Dad loves hotcakes, pork cracklins and the World Cup. That's his life right now.  He's my life, always.  I love you Puchie.

CHIQUITIBUM

        I've been training all week in order to be somewhat cognizant for tomorrow morning's fut, 7 AM?  Me lleva la _______.  Normal sleep hours are a challenge.  The best I've done is dozing off sometime between Jimmy Fallon's musical guest and the top stories on Sportscenter.   That lasted  all of 2 days.  I need to log Z's!  Let's hope the rage from witnessing the Bostonian Keltics antics (game 4) does not creep into my  nighttime head movies.  A slobbering high def Big baby in super shlomo does NOT a good look make.  Neither does this...

   

   So catch the Mundial vapors like the rest of us!  Get caught up on all the highs and lows beginning with this goofy good 86' Mexico World Cup footage set off with  innovative motion graphics amidst pre-Columbian interpretive dance.  This is all should have been covered in your brown studies courses. 

¡Vamos Mexico!   

TRIANGLE DEFENSE

If the Lakers hope to repeat I'm gonna need more defensive pantsing, aggressive stealing of high fives and intimidating selling of woof tickets.

ALMA GRANDE

       I love this lady for loving the llorona y piojosa baby Mitsy pictured here. ¿Y esa cara?  Yuck.  Sorry for forcing you to watch all kinds of sports on your Mother's day(s).   Sorry your worst case scenario team won Amazing Race ruining your day.  Sorry for popping out your rib while laying up in your womb trying to develop and grow eye lashes.  She won't let that go.  "Tientame aqui."  Oh brother.  I would go on but four boys from Philly already said it best and in spanish no less.

 

Cumple

             It was my brother's birthday yesterday.  That's him on his 7th birthday superimposed into my Momma's reverse Wutang hands.  He's an old ass man now.  But he used to be sooo cool sooo cool what happened?

          Just kidding. Happy birthday brother - I love you. Aren't you glad we don't have to dress up in matching satin and polyester like tiny prom dates and share birthdays anymore?   I like how you have a black eye here and a thick head of hair while my tiny bald ass teeters on the brink of danger as Mom spots me from behind because my walking legs hadn't come in yet. 

Brown power- flipped up brim, derby jacket and khakis.

I thought you were never a cholo?

       

           This is my favorite picture ever.  It's not the quality but the quantity (of faux pas).  Dodger stadium.  '88 championship hats resting high up on big permed locks.  Marios mullet creeping- you can't tell here but I think the tips were "sun-in" bleached. Starter jackets, ah to be young again.

            As you can see not much has changed.  He just rocks a fade now.   And closes his eyes in pictures.  I made this cake & these cupcakes for him. Remind me never to think I'm Ace of Cakes ever again.

TRUE BLUE

                Little Isis is my muse (sometimes baby hedgehogs).  I'm constantly inspired to craft miniature personalized get ups like this Dodgers one. We shot this last friday, when we opened up that series against the San Francicso vaGiants.  I think she was good luck.

Click on the trading card for more frames from that day.

INSIDE EDITION

        I'm sure I will never again be on or within the jacket of any type of scholarly journal ,  so let me ride the high donkey for a shake, ok? When I was little I minored in Brown studies, my nose was always buried deep in Aztlan microfilm (or online articles but that  doesn't sound as romantic).  Needless to say, I'm honored that Chiquidracula is a coverboy. Thanks to Colin for co-signing and to the folks at the UCLA Chicano Studies Research Center for facilitating. 

Kindle action.  I got your ipad page turning animation right here.

Forever d-leaguer

Can you buy me these?

SPRING HAS SPRUNG

        Opening day!  Probably the only day I play the part of overzealous fan before 161 games of unquiet and dread.  Now, if only I could find my wacom pen so I could finish up this portrait of Rhianna's rude boy.  I need Kemp to carry my fantasy beis since my draft was a bust.  I hate being on the clock!  I panic and end up with abysmal-ranked first basemen that no one  of sound mind rubbernecks in the 12th round.  I was clearly making a pass at Carlos Quentin but nooooo sneaky undermining Yahoo! and Cookie Jar treachery. 

Like it or not,  the Dodgers opening day line-up.  I gotta go- 10:35 am start time.  Rough.

Some hilarity and absurdity.

Can LA sign Cust? Thanks.

POST-HASTE

H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y  Dosey Doe- or actually it's designer.  This spring (or early summer depending on who you talk to) Dosey Doe and the Bonkers Brigade will be commemorated in T-shirt form & available for purchase. Don't buy weed cookies or purple drank this week and save up for one. It's the least you can do, unless you need to buy your Mom's meds or pampers for your shitty kids.

NEW LOWS

        I'm almost completely sure joining a Fantasy Baseball League will ruin my life and reputation.  Before you judge, it's a favor for a boy.  Annnndd an excuse (cover up) to finally live out my moneyball dreams.  I suspect I was solely invited to pad his league stats, improving his own sneaky snake odds because you know I'll be cellar dwelling out the gate and well into September call-ups.  I'm stubborn.  I'm the asshole nepotist that will draft a Dodger heavy line up, refuse to pick up ANY San Francisco Vagiants, Phillies or player(s) of questionable character.  Guess what Wainwright? You're good but I don't like the cut of your jib,  you're out.  You too Wandy Rodriguez.  What kind of name is Wandy?  Ladies reject logic,  we rely on feelings and trickery.  That's what I bring to the league.  I can't wait to act out.  I don't even know what I'm doing, if there is a way to pick up retired Dmitri Young, I'll find it.   If it's late in the season and my elimination # is in sight-  I'll go balls to the wall and assemble an all-chunkytown squad.   Dennys Reyes & Nick Johnson I'm looking your way.

        You know how I spent my afternoon? Looking for ridiculous baseball cards for my avatar. Ugh "avatar." See, see, new lows.  I went with the Ron Washington for now.  Anyway, you know where to find me.  Myspace begot Facebook, Facebook begot Yahoo! Fantasy Sports Baseball. 

YEAH

Can you buy me this?

STICK ME FOR MY PAPER

          What you didn't see: The "San Jo" woodburned repeatedly into the edges of this piece. It's key. :)  Dimensions 9" x 9",  the outfit and accessories (feathered hair & sharpied eyebrows, hat) are cut out of that super thin crafting wood.  Folks keep reminding me it's not all about me, so lucky for yoooouu,  I did some reconnaissance (Googlear) and came up with these links for you to take in the whole show.

DOLLFACE

I'm cutting it close, but I'm pretty sure I'll be a part of this- burned fingers and all.  I'll post pictures later later.

____________________________________________________________

M.I.S.S., has teamed up with Upper Playground to curate its first ever art show at FIFTY24LA Gallery. In keeping with our love of fashion and art, we are very excited to present “Paper Dolls”- Using the iconic paper doll as inspiration, each artist offers his or her own artistic interpretation of the woman’s fashion figure. From photographs, illustrations and paintings, there are varied expressions of the paper doll – all with the signature touches of each artist.